Does the hurt ever go away?

Two things in my life this past week:

My friend was talking about her daughter's pregnancy. How weird that the nesting syndrome sets in when you should be dog tired, etc. She asked me how that had been for me -- then she gasped and said I'm sorry and changed the subject. I know she loves me and wasn't out to hurt me, but dadgumit there was that pang.

Today, after meeting with my stepdaughter, her mom and her half-brother to talk about wedding plans [yes, she's getting married at 18, but that's a subject for another day], we went to Charlotte's Discovery Place Museum to see Bodyworlds. This is an exhibit where actual preserved people and body parts are shown in such a way that you can see their skeleton, muscles, organs, etc. Fascinating!

Anyway, one part of the exhibit was about prenatal development. Pang! Pang! Pang! There it was, an 8 week fetus still in its sac suspended in water. Already looking like a real miniature baby. Which one of my 6 early miscarriages was I thinking of? Probably the one I carried for two weeks while on vacation, knowing it had died but not having enough time for a D&E before we went. The one whose ultrasound had looked so real that it had been one of the hardest losses for me.

Does the hurt ever go away? I hope not. I do not want to forget this Journey, what I learned. How my husband and I drew closer together and closer to God. How I realized that God's heart is so tender and open to me! How knowing Him does help the pangs! It also keeps my heart tender and open to other women who are going through the same stuff. So, lay it on me. I've been there and come back. Don't walk this Journey alone.